will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
