upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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