i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Are my feet made of real feet?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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