Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize