She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I still have a little drunk in my system
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
