Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize