do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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