oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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