This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
