just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
