great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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