are you so shy because you have an std?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
