Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
