that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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