i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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