so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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