I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
