we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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