I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
