I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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