I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
