I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize