Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??

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(213): View more from California

The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.

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(310): View more from California

i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.

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(512): View more from Texas

do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?

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(785): View more from Kansas

Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites

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(843): View more from South Carolina

We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?

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(404): View more from Georgia

After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"

(404): View more from Georgia

I come from her. Holy hell.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.

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