When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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