he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
