oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
