so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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