I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
