there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
