i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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