Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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