so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
