I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what day is it and did you see me today?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
