I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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