is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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