once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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