I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
