well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
