Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
