we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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