so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
