Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
