Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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