the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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