she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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