I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
