I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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