thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
