Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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