i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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