why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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