Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize