Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
