Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
