Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
