Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
