Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
