maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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