Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Small penises have feelings too.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
