i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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