I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
