I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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