and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
