so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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